ZENology

Okay, so this is me. It’s a lot prettier than the real me

but I’d have to say that i kinda look like this avatar.

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Okay, I’ll tell you a li’l bit about me. Then I’ll have you killed right after.

Simple lang ako. Hindi ako kikay. I don’t know how to make my appearance look (somehow) extravagant. The best I can do is to make myself look presentable.  I don’t know much about the latest trends or what pants best suits a top.. or what neckline will best enhance your features. I know little about these girlie things. Ask me about Fall Out Boy, Basketball, Current Events, Wrestling, and other stuff but not about fashion. Puh-lease. But know what, I’d like to have a make over. Haha!

I am always told that I’m one of the boys. I guess they’re right. I have so many guy friends. Most of my uber close friends are guys. Maybe because my interests and hobbies are really un-girlie. Idk. Really.

I have soooo much love to give. I’m always in love… love drunk everyday. I am very passionate about lotsa things. I love my family. I love God, of course. I love my friends. I’ll do everything to make them happy. I love dancing.  I’m boyish but I tell you, I can dance really sexy. LOL. I dream that someday, I’d be noticed and a group will take me in. I’d really love to pursue dancing if it opens its doors for me. I’ve been dancing since I can’t remember when. I have been dancing all my life. It’s not just a passion for me, it’s more of a lifestyle. Yeah, you bet I’m proud to be a dancer. And someday, I’d like to share my talent to the world. Haha, I’m dreamin’ on I know right.

A friend once told me that I have lotsa choices of things to pursue. Sa dami ba naman ng interests ko, umaygas. I’m more into the creativity thingie. Photography, Graphics and visual design, Videography, and the sort. But I’m working as an employee at Meralco where none of these interests are being used (so far). So I’m really unsure if I’m on the right path in terms of my professional career. But I’m getting good money and lotsa great benefits, so  I guess that’s okay for now. Haha.

I love people-watching. I’m weird but I really think I can read people. Idk. I’m very intuitive. Once I have a hunch about something, I’m most of the time correct. I love spending time with myself. I love thinking. I love reflecting. Sometimes, it’s cool to be alone… to be able to have a private time with meself. And when I do these kinds of stuff, I end up in nostalgia. Haha. But what can I do? I really find it helpful to sometimes look back on my past. Coz that’s when I see how I’ve matured (if I really did) and changed over time.

I’m human, not perfect. I have my own share of stupidity, evilness and apathy that’s pretty much prevalent in our world today. I curse. I lie. I hate. I keep grudges. I say bad words. I miss Sunday mass and sometimes I get oh so lazy to attend it. I know being human and imperfect shouldn’t be an excuse to justify such qualities/acts but I really think that all these are normal. Sometimes, I get so angry that I just decide to not to care anymore. Maybe I have said more lies than truth in this lifetime.. Ooops, OA ata yun. I really don’t know, I lost track in counting. Most of those were white lies though so don’t worry. LOL. Sometimes, in my desire to be realistic, I become a pessimist.  But I’m proud to say that no matter how screwed up things were for me, I NEVER not even once in my life, questioned God or blamed Him for whatever chaos I was in. And I think I never will.

I believe that spirits/ghosts roam around us and that they are here. Sometimes they sit beside you. They stand behind you while you raid your ref for food. They stare back at you when you stare outside your car window. They lie beside you at night and consume every free space in your bed. They accompany you at the wash room and sings with you when you sing your favorite song, you just can’t hear them. They are basically everywhere. I know because I see them. I feel them.

I love to travel. I wanna go and explore the world, visit places people has never heard of. I plan to get rich someday and go see what an actual remote area looks like and spend time there, maybe a month, to see how it is to live without electricity, malls, express food deliveries, phones, ipod. It’s like going back to the basics and I think that would be cool. Imma take lotsa photos of these places and imma place it on my uber huge corkboard that I plan to have hanging in one of the walls of my future mansion. LOL.

I love and want and need so many things. But at the end of the day, I find that all I really want and need is to be LOVED everyday. I don’t care if I don’t get to travel or if I don’t get rich or none of these things happen for me. As long as I am loved, I’ll be fine.